Moments Count

I had a very frustrating weekend. If you read my last blog post you will understand why. I was upset with the time, effort and money spent to attend the con. That expressed itself in everything I did Saturday and Sunday. We went out to 6th street in Austin, and I was about as obnoxious as I get. I vented my frustration to other writers at the con who were willing to listen. I was irritable on the 11+ hour drive home and I’m pretty sure I was upset at everyone in my life for something, or more likely nothing. This isn’t usually how I am, but it happens when the universe conspires against me. Damn universe.

I was going to take one of several naps yesterday when I discovered on Facebook that someone I knew from High School took their life over the weekend. I was not close to this person, he wasn’t a long lost brother, but from everything I knew and remembered, he was a good man. When he friended me on Facebook this last year, he had a few nice things to say in passing about my writing. That would sum up our relationship, it was always friendly, polite, and in passing.

This isn’t a blog post about him, other than to say my heart goes out to his family and friends. What else do you say? They are the ones affected by his decision. I’ve been surrounded by people with depression most of my life, and I’ve seen what it drives them to do. A cousin who lived with my family attempted suicide. I’ve known others who have been successful at it. But, I’ll never understand.

I also bear no judgment for him and the decision that he has made. It’s not my job to judge, nor is it a job I want. It's the easiest thing in the world to go on about what people should have or shouldn't have done. I just know that my universe kicks me in the balls once and awhile, I don't even want to imagine what his did to him.

This blog post is simply a reminder to me that once and awhile I need to forgive the universe and its constant transgressions. This week I’ll visit my parents like I try to do, I’ll see a movie with my wife, I’ll spend some time with my daughter, and will call my son at college. This weekend, when I see my friends, I’ll hug them like I mean it. Because next week someone may decide to move, or they may become sick, or do something I won’t understand – and I’ve already forgotten what I was upset about in the car.