Angst Team Profile: Cristi

There is a lot to be said about best friends. They are there when no one else is. They are the ones who ask what’s wrong because they sense it, not because you complain. They are the ones you party with, but can also have a serious conversation with. You can talk about farting, and bad sex, and insecurities, and doctor visits, and family issues, and money, and everything that you won’t talk about at work. You can argue and get over it. You can be socially awkward to the point of passing out from embarrassment, you can make dumb mistakes, and they don’t judge, they just help you through it. I have one of those friends, and her name is Cristi.

I met Cristi at our day job. The minute she started, I was like, whoa - she’s gorgeous! I wanted to introduce myself, but we were in different departments. She worked call center and I was a systems administrator fixing servers. A junior tech had called me in for help with her computer. I wasn’t supposed to, but in spite of the potential that I would be yelled at, I jumped at the chance. When he told me the problem, I immediately dismissed him to find the notes I had already sent on fixing the issue. I could have walked him through the problem, but I wanted that window to introduce myself. It was a total dick move, and an excellent decision.

You see, Cristi has a personality that is genuine. I could immediately tell that she wasn’t fake, she was amazing. Our relationship took off from that first support call. I invited her to my softball team where we both excelled at playing bad and getting drunk together. Not long after we mostly enjoyed a float trip together and the adventures continued from there. I totally helped her land her boyfriend, Brandon! (Okay, that’s really an exaggeration as I was a pain in the ass.) Needless to say we hit it off and in many ways it feels like we are just getting started!


Cristi is amazing on so many levels. Like her boyfriend, Brandon, she loves animals. Her passion goes beyond the sappy love of a cute animal pic (though, there is some of that too) she has also donated her time to support animal shelters, as well as fostering pets in need. I can also say that she loves people too, especially when they don’t talk to her. (I highly recommend not talking to her in the morning. Shhh.)

She’s not just a pretty face. (Okay, she’s strikingly pretty, but that’s stating the obvious!) I really respect how hard she works. That may sound silly, but she’s the type of person that is always early to work and often staying late. She taught herself that, which makes it even more impressive! Cristi put herself through college and I watched her quickly work her way up from call center agent to being an insurance underwriter in an incredibly complicated field. There are a lot of brains, hard work, and common sense behind her fun loving attitude. It’s why I respect her opinion so much and appreciate her input on my life, and my writing.

Cristi is not a nerd. Just the opposite, she has very little interest in fantasy or science fiction or superheroes or, well, you get the idea. In spite of this, not only has she read my first book multiple times, she has critiqued and contributed to Buried in Angst and Drowning in Angst. Even beyond that, Cristi volunteers her time to be my spokesmodel at conventions. Let me emphasize that she volunteers to help promote my book by rocking the chainmail bikini. I couldn’t possibly afford the modeling she does, and nor does she ever ask for recompense. It always blows people away that she’s beautiful, approachable, but is also involved. I’ve sold a lot of books because of her efforts. But more important, we’ve connected with a lot of people. And, we have fun. We get drunk at cons like professionals. We not only enjoy the adventure, we try to be a part of it!

We are an interesting pair that make a lot of heads turn, and it cracks us up. We go out to a nice dinner and the 20 year age difference brings us great looks of surprise. She’s a head taller, I’m short and pudgy, so she’s obviously not my daughter. We have great chemistry, like close friends do. I don’t know how many times we’ve been asked if we are something else. It makes me feel bad for those asking, for what they are missing in their lives. You see, we are something else, Cristi and I are a great team!

I tease her that I’m her “backup”. If her parents, or besties, or boyfriend, can’t be there for whatever reason, I can often fill in the blank. At the same time, she supports me without question. Cristi is amazing! I couldn’t ask for a better friend, or a better teammate. She has been a force in making my books what they are, and an influence in making my life better, and I’m eternally grateful!

Come visit us at Archon 39 in St. Louis!

After a great time last year, we had to come back for more! Archon will be our last Science Fiction and Fantasy convention of the year - so be sure to stop by and join us for the fun!


I'll be participating in five panels, and moderating two:
Fri 3:00p Salon 4 Star Trek: Past, Present, and Future
Sat 3:00p Illini A Marvel Cinematic Universe (M)
Sat 4:00p Cahokian DC and Marvel TV Shows: Who Does What Better?
Sat 6:00p Illini B DC Movies: Can They Catch Up?
Sun 12:00p Mississippian Marketing for the Self-Published Author (M)



Please visit us at bookseller's row and:

• See Cristi, gorgeous and amazing Angst spokesmodel, on Saturday!
• Pick up your copy of the 3rd Angst novel: Drowning in Angst!
• Get a free poster of Cristi with your purchase!
• Sign up for our newsletter and you could win an Angst T-shirt!

You can find us at table 17 while the dealer's room is open:
Friday: 4-8
Saturday: 10-6
Sunday: 10-2

Archon 39 will be hosted at:
Gateway Convention Center
One Gateway Drive, Collinsville, IL
October 2nd-4th

Be sure to check out their website for details!
http://www.archonstl.org/

Success vs. Accomplishment

I’m not what some would call a successful writer. This is not a complaint, merely a realization. I haven’t sold 100,000 books, they haven’t made Angst The Motion Picture, I haven’t been interviewed on a late night talk show. (Yet.) Hell, since 2005 I’ve only completed three books when many of my indie peers pump out 2-3 books a year. (For which I have all the respect in the world for them. Amazing!) A lot of people would find this discouraging. Some would even throw in the towel.

This summer I was on a panel at a Science Fiction and Fantasy convention where a successful indie author literally scoffed at my lack of success. I didn’t record the panel, and I was probably drinking, so I’m paraphrasing. But basically, he said if an indie writer wasn’t making the same level of effort he did and making at least 30K a year then their self-publishing was nothing more than vanity press. He was very much about taking small business classes at community colleges or you are wasting your time. If you are in it for the money (and I’m sure most are to some extent), he wasn’t wrong. Or was he?

Every once and awhile when I do get frustrated and discouraged about my writing, and I do, something happens. I get a reminder to keep going and to believe in what I’m writing. This weekend, I received two. The first was from a Twitter friend in Australia, who I hope to meet one day. He first messaged me awhile back when he was unable to find a copy of Angst at any local bookstore. The fact that he went to look for it, at multiple stores, is touching. He went so far as to purchase a signed copy from me to have it shipped halfway around the world. He messaged me tonight about how excited he was to receive my third novel Drowning in Angst. I couldn’t be more flattered.

Over the weekend, something unexpected happened that still hasn’t completely sunk in. Let me start by saying I’ve been rebuilding my house. (I swear, sometimes it feels like this place has been attacked by the seven plagues.) The most recent plague has been siding dry rot, the eighth plague. Last weekend, I ordered a delivery of building materials. The delivery man mentioned something about our local Renaissance Festival (which is amazing, by the way!) Ever the salesman, I brought up my fantasy novel, Angst. He actually remembered me from Planet Comicon and had a picture of Cristi in costume on his phone. That was bad ass! So, I tipped him with a signed copy of Angst. Today, I received a letter from him. He loved the first novel, has already read the second, Buried in Angst, and ordered the third.

It was the first handwritten letter I have ever received about my novels. In this day of e-everything, who sends a letter? It takes an effort, it’s inconvenient, and it’s incredibly thoughtful. It was a “faith in humanity restored” sort of moment. He related to the book, totally got what I was trying to write, and said some nice things about me personally. I think about the few times I’ve gone out of my way to compliment someone like this and can’t help but appreciate the significance.

If success is measured in money, then please, don’t come to me for advice. I have, however, accomplished a lot in my life. I’ve run two, pretty slow, 26 mile marathons. I’ve climbed up two 14,000 foot mountains. I’ve been married 22 years (an accomplishment in this day and age). I’ve got two amazing kids who have grown up to be amazing young adults. I’ve marched in Thee University of Wisconsin Marching Band, honestly, as challenging as any of these if not moreso. I’ve written over 400,000 words that quite a few people have actually enjoyed. No, I’m not successful, but I feel accomplished, and it feels pretty good.

When you get down about your sales, about the lack of money you’re making, or even about those few bad reviews - remember why you’re doing this. Sometimes it’s not about success. Sometimes it’s about passion. Sometimes it’s about believing in yourself and the story you have to tell. Sometimes, it’s about your goals, and not theirs. So go out there and do what you believe in, and at the end of the day, enjoy what you have accomplished.

Is the Shot Glass Half Full or Half Empty?

Whew! I mean really, whew! Yesterday was rough! I worked a half day in the morning for my day job before spending six hours with my dad and sister waiting for Mom to come out of surgery. I got home and played some Heroes of the Storm with my old friend (and beta-reader) Matt, for his birthday. Before we could finish, my wife got home from her workout and my daughter got home from work just as I got an emergency call from my job that took almost 3 hours to resolve. Yesterday was a lot. I could easily say the shot glass was half empty, or worse. It may have been broken and shattered, with tiny little pieces of glass everywhere.

This isn’t a bitch and whine post (well, maybe it is a little) but I’m actually grateful if not a little harried. There are two ways to look at that mess of a day. If the shot glass were half empty, I could start by bitching about my mom having fucking cancer! She’s 72 and shouldn’t have to deal with breast cancer at this point in her life, she should be on a beach getting served something with rum in it by a gorgeous young man who winks at her. She deserves that! I could complain about having to wait for 6 hours, about 3 hours longer than projected, in a cold waiting room at the hospital with uncomfortable chairs and poor communication. I could bitch about my gaming time with Matt being cut short by work (on his birthday), and barely getting to chat with my wife and daughter. I didn’t get to work on my fourth fantasy novel, nor any other projects that are weighing on me a lot these days. Yeah, it was that kind of day, a half empty shot glass kind of day, and I had every right to go to bed bitter. But, I actually felt pretty good.

Mom faced a double mastectomy and reconstructive surgery like a champ. She’s been a cancer survivor once, and at 72 is going to do it again. (Moral of the story: don’t smoke, kids.) It was tough seeing her after surgery, but Mom is tough as nails and we had to talk her into accepting pain meds because she’s “got a high tolerance for pain.” I got to spend the better part of the day with my dad and sister. I was there for them as much as I was for my mom. Waiting was tense, my mom isn’t young, and it was easy to worry. But my family was there. We all have a pretty twisted sense of humor, so a few laughs helped us pass the time. (Thanks Crap Taxidermy!) I got to spend some time gaming with one of my oldest friends on his birthday, and it was a great reprieve from an otherwise stressful day. My wife and daughter had good days, they are safe and healthy. I helped resolve the work emergency, and I’d like to think much faster than if I hadn’t been there. (I even received some nice kudos.)

Is it half full or half empty? Often, I think it’s about outlook. It’s about my attitude. That’s not always the case. Some things aren’t surmountable. My friend losing her daughter to suicide last month? You don’t get over that, not completely. Cancer? Fuck cancer and stay away from my mom! (And everyone else while you’re at it!) But today, I’ll look at the bright side. Mom survived. My time was spent well with people I love. Crises were averted. My shot glass is full, probably of something tasty, and I’m going to drink deep. I deserve it!


I would be remiss not to share some links:

Please educate yourself on breast cancer, it affects 1 in 8 women. BreastCancer.org is a great place to start! There are a lot of organizations to donate to like the Breast Cancer Research Foundation

Also, this week is National Suicide Prevention Week! #StopSuicide #CelebrateSara